Sucre Lapin ( @hijabihipster on Twitter)

Ok half way into my holiday in the UK I got swine flu.
And well being rather near death (and now fully recovered, sort of) it changes your perspective on life. Well, how could it not?
It made me a lot less lazy, very active and more ah…well I guess the word for it would be ‘mature’ but I think it’s a little different from that. I’ve realized that life can end anytime and most people my age tend to think we’re untouchable and completely invincible. Well no longer. A lot has changed in the span of a month, I’ve broken up with my boyfriend, become more religious, touched base with all the missing people in my life, come to terms with my family, made some legitimate friends and stopped whiling away hours in front of the laptop and have (finally) started eating properly and putting on weight (much to the relief of my mother and father).

I still haven’t forgotten the laughs and cynicism and smiles from favrd though. I still love you guys, really I do. Looking at it now and my past tweets it’s like looking back on a diary from years past (Because thats how much I felt I have changed in the space of a month…years of change..thankfully not physically visible ;-D)..and I don’t feel embittered toward the world, or angry. I just feel determined and with a new sense of purpose. For once I know where my life is going and I like it!

I won’t be updating as often…I’m working at a law office (not as a lawyer, do try to remember I’m only 19) and will be resuming studies come September- but I won’t forget what I had here! And I’ll still have my funny tweets, hopefully! Maybe I’ll bring a little less dark humour to favrd and little more tongue in cheek.

lotsoflove,

Layla

P.S. I am in no way slamming anyone else on favrd for their jokes however gross/crass/dark/cynical….because any joke that falls under that category will be laughed at and starred by me.
um unless your @pheend or @ersatzmoe because they’re not funny. One’s way to gross for me and the other is just downright rude ;-)

p.p.s. OH RIGHT, THAT’S ANOTHER THING BEING ALMOST DEAD DOES TO YOU, YOU DON’T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK, YOU’RE JUST GONNA SAY IT. um, within reasonable limits.

I still make jokes, but it’s like..I’m waiting. I’m in some weird sort of middle ground, where at a surface I carry on with life, but another part is waiting for the body to return, the funeral to commence….

maybe if I laugh, it’s not real.

I’m falling pretty hard and fast.

[edit: not really meant to be funny, but if you think it’s funny, than to each their own, I suppose]

He was only 26. He drowned in Cuba.

It feels so surreal.

I just saw him two weeks ago. Alive, healthy and working on his car. A car, I’m afraid, will never be finished.

It’s like I’m wafting through two states, suspended disbelief and grief.

….

I don’t even know.

‘Allah calls on those whom he loves most’

InshAllah, inshAllah…He was loved by Allah (swt). And I hope that you all can just give a small prayer to Allah asking for forgiveness of his sins, a dua for his family to keep through this.

….

..

I don’t even know any more.